Rodney Carrington - If You Play your cards wrong Listen to the song for the variations to make it sound right (usually just letting one up or adding a string). If you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight You’ve got all the makings of my future ex-wife I’ve got three bucks my credit sucks and my future don’t look too bright so if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight Some call me a loser and a lazy no-good slob I’ve lost my house I’ve got no car and I can’t keep a job but I’ve got a big heart and another part Take me home you’ll understand Because my genitalia looks like a pringles can If you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight                                                     and when I pull my pants down hey you won’t believe i’m white and it’s been said that I’m mister ed but don’t worry I won’t bite if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight Some call me dishonest And they say I’m just lying But I’ve peed next to old john holmes and D (let ring) He started crying. On a sunny day I’ve got it made      Em (let ring) Get under my wiener if you need shade                                                   If you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight                                                   If you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight