...CEMETERY POLKA... by Tom Waits ------------............. *from ’Rain Dogs’ (1985)* Verse 1: Uncle Vernon Uncle Vernon Inde-pendent as a hog on ice. He’s a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse Plays ac-cordion for Mis-ter Weiss. Verse 2: Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William Made a million during World War II. But they’re tightwads and they’re cheapskates And they’ll never give a dime to you. Interlude: Verse 3: Auntie Mame has gone in-sane; she lives In the doorway of an old ho-tel. And the radio is playing opera All she ever says is; "go to Hell". Verse 4: Uncle Violet flew as pilot And there ain’t no pretty girls in France. Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint; They say he never keeps it in his pants. Verse 5: Uncle Bill will never leave a will And the tumour is as big as an egg. Has a mistress; she’s Puerto Rican And I heard she has a woo-den leg. Interlude: Verse 6: Uncle Phil can’t live without his pills; He has emphy-sema and he’s almost blind. And we must find out where the money is Get it now before he loses his mind. Verse 7: Uncle Vernon Uncle Vernon Inde-pendent as a hog on ice. He’s a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse Plays ac-cordion for Mis-ter Weiss. CHORD DIAGRAMS: ------------                                                       EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  EADGBE  x35543  466544  355433  133111  x46664  x35553  x13331  244322  133211