I thought it was a joke when you called me up And said you needed ironing There were creases in your facial lining Won’t you have a little rest when they turn out the lights A nice cup of tea and you’ll be feeling alright Don’t fret you’ll recover yet you’ll see So keep on sending dirty postcards back to me Back to me     back to me I thought it was a lark when you phoned my dad And told him that you’d have to catch the measles You’re flesh was being ripped to shreds by weasels Won’t you have a little rest when they turn out the lights A nice cup of tea and you’ll be feeling alright Don’t fret you’ll recover yet you’ll see So keep on sending dirty postcards back to me Back to me      back to me T’was on the Norfolk Broads we were punting one day You received a nasty bump on the he--ead And you’ve never been the same since needless to say How I wish it could have been me instead I wish it could have been me inste-------ead      Instrumental                           pattern repeats  3x                                    I thought it was a prank when you wired the Pope To say you’d a vision of an aardvark Who was perpetrating ghastly deeds with Saint Ma--aa----ark Won’t you have a little rest when they turn out the lights A nice cup of tea and you’ll be feeling alright Don’t fret you’ll recover yet you’ll see So keep on sending dirty postcards back to me So keep on sending dirty postcards back to me So keep on sending dirty postcards back to me Back to me      back to me