When I was young I used to be As fine a man as ever you’d see ’til the Prince of Wales he said to me Come and join the British army Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo They’re lookin’ for monkeys up in the zoo And since when have I had a face like you? I’d join the British army Sarah Comden baked a cake It’s all for poor old Slattery’s sake She threw meself into the lake Pretendin’ I was balmy Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo I’ve made me mind up what to do Now I’ll work me ticket home to you And  pfft the British army Sergeant Heeley went away And his wife got in the family way And the only words that she could say Was blame the British army Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo Me curse upon the Labour blue That took me darlin’ boy from me To join the British army Corporal Sheen’s a turn o’ the ’bout Just give him a couple o’ jars o’ stout He’ll bake the enemy with his mouth And save the British army Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo I’ve made me mind up what to do Now I’ll work me ticket home to you And  pluck the British army