I brush my teeth   And look in the mirror   And laugh out loud   As I’m beaming from ear to ear   I’d rather pick flowers   Instead of fights   And rather than flaunt my style   I’d flash you a smile   Of clean pearly whites   I’ve been to the dentist   A thousand times so I know the drill   I smooth my hair sit back in the chair   But somehow I still get the chills   Have a seat   He says pleasantly   As he shakes my hand   And practically laughs at me   Open up nice and wide    He says peering in   And with a smirk he says   "Don’t have a fit this’ll just pinch a bit"   As he tries not to grin   When hygienists leave on long vacations   That’s when dentists scream and lose their patience (patients)   Talking only brings the toothaches on   Because I say the stupidest things   So if my resolve goes south   I’ll swallow my pride with an aspirin   And shut my mouth   Golf and alcohol don’t mix                                     And that’s why I don’t drink and drive   Because good grief I’d knock out my teeth   And hafta kiss my smile goodbye   I’ve been to the dentist   A thousand times so I know the drill   I smooth my hair sit back in the chair   But somehow I still get the chills