[Intro] [Verse 1]   On the good ship Venus By Christ you should have seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed Sucking a dead man’s penis [Verse 2] The captain’s name was Lugger By Christ he was a bugger He wasn’t fit to shovel shit From one ship to another [Instrumental] [Verse 3] (faster) And the second mate was Andy By Christ he had a dandy Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy [Verse 4] The third mate’s name was Morgan By God he was a gorgon From half past eight he played till late Upon the captain’s organ [Instrumental] [Verse 5] The captain’s wife was Mabel And by God was she able To give the crew their daily screw Upon the galley table [Verse 6] The captain’s daughter Charlotte Was born and bred a harlot Her thighs at night were lily white By morning they were scarlet [Instrumental] [Verse 7] (original tempo) The cabin boy was Kipper By Christ he was a nipper He stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper [Verse 8] The captain’s lovely daughter Liked swimming in the water Delighted squeals came when some eels Found her sexual quarters [Instrumental] (faster) [Verse 9] The cook his name was Freeman And he was a dirty demon And he fed the crew on menstrual stew And hymens fried in semen [Verse 10] And the ship’s dog was called Rover And we turned the poor thing over And ground and ground that faithful hound From   Teneriff to Dover [Instrumental] [Verse 11] (original tempo) When we reached our station Through skillful navigation The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk From too much fornication [Verse 12] On the good ship Venus By Christ you should have seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed Sucking a dead man’s penis [Outro] (faster)