Drunk men stagger drunk men fall Drunk men swear & that’s not all Quite often drunks will urinate outdoors Like widowed women drunk men weep Like children curled up drunk men sleep Like a dog a drunk will crawl about on all fours Be it broke bum or rich rake His dinner be it bread or cake His beverage be the worst of whiskey finest wine Puke it stinks & so it seems A drunkard goes to great extremes But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line Drunks are strong & drunks are weak It’s easy for a drunk to speak Straight from the heart Drunks will fight their not afraid They’ll kiss the mistress & make the maid Oh but it’s a manly art But it takes it toll on blood vessels & from there it will raise Bags beneath the eyes & other signs Drunks get ugly so it seems & drunks will go to great extremes But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line. Drunks are friendly when they’re drunk And drunks are hostile when they’re drunk Which drunk it is it all depends upon When drunk men drink they thirst they thirst for drink Their elephants are grey not pink When the drink evaporates the man is gone gone gone Back to the flats & the subway cars To the hipflasks & the fruit jars Flat on thier face & flat on their backs Drunks get drunk & so it seems That drunks will go to great extremes But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line