[Verse] Bein’ a dad isn’t so bad Except that you gotta feed ’em You gotta shoe ’em and clothe ’em And try not to loathe ’em Bug ’ and hug ’ and heed ’ Bein’ a dad can sure make you mad Man it even can drive you crazy It’s as hard as it looks You gotta read them dumb books And you end up despising Walt Disney Bein’ a dad starts to get radical When they turn into teenagers You gotta tighten the screws Enforce the curfews Confiscate weapons and pagers [Chorus] But a daughter and son Can be sort of fun Just as long as they don’t defy you They’ll treat you like a king They’ll believe anything They’re easy to frighten and lie to [Verse] Bein’ a dad (bein’ a dad) Bein’ a dad (bein’ a dad) Bein’ a dad can make you feel glad When you get paperweights and aftershave lotions Yeah it feels pretty great when they graduate That’s when you’re choked with emotions But bein’ a dad takes more than a tad of Good luck and divine intervention You need air-tight alibis Fool proof disguises Desperation’s the father of invention [Chorus] So sometimes you take off For a few rounds of golf And you stay away for half of their lifetimes The result of it all is You’re captured and hauled up Before a tribunal for dad crimes [Verse] Bein’ a dad (bein’ a dad) Bein’ a dad (bein’ a dad) Bein’ a dad can make you feel sad Like you’re the insignificant other Yeah right from the start They break your heart In the end every kid wants his mother Bein’ a dad (bein’ a dad)