Intro : I won't say it to your face So I'll write a song about it I won't say it to your face So I'll write a song about it I love you like a sister I love you like a sister I mean  come on we've been friends this long I love you like a sister so I watch you like a hawk Sorry but I just can't help it So when you talk about him And tell me the things that he tells you And the stuff  he pulls off The red flags are a-poppin' the alarms are a-ringin' I can't say I'm his number one fan You call me to rant and it's totally fine We've both seen each other's ugly cry It's none of my business but it kinda is Cause you talk to me about it all the time And I understand that you love him and I respect that But I kinda want to punch him in the balls Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  We'll throw a big party I'll buy the balloons and the booze There'll be a buffet of Kleenex We'll be ready for the grand ol' cry fest Oh-oh ice cream Nutella and chips You name it I got it But until that day comes I'll listen and wait patiently And tell myself Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Woah-oh-oh wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Woah-oh-oh wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  Woah-oh-oh wouldn't it be lovely if you'd just dump the guy ASAP?  ASAP