Intro Well I guess I’m fucking fifty Some say I’m old as fuck Still sipping Jim Beam whiskey ’Cause goddamn pandemic suck I guess I’m fucking fifty No need to look it up Well I might be fucking fifty But I still don’t give one fuck Well I guess I’m fucking fifty But I’m still standing tall Even though I can’t hear shit I can’t see and I’m going bald I guess I’m fucking fifty But I’m better off than you Well I might be fucking fifty But your mom still thinks I’m cool woo Well I guess I’m fucking fifty I’m through drinking and blacking out No more talking shit about Oprah Or fighting at the Waffle House I guess I’m fucking fifty A far cry from seventeen Well I might be fucking fifty But this dick’s still long and lean [Break]      Ah shit Well I guess I’m fucking fifty No more groupies o-on the bus (I gotta chill) I don’t hang much more with outlaws I spend more time at Toys-R-Us I guess I’m fucking fifty But that’s okay with me I still rock like a chair middle finger in the air With my granddaughter on my knee Well I guess I’m fucking fifty And as I stare down fifty-one I got a million crazy stories And can’t remember fucking one I guess I’m fucking fifty But I still love to dance Yeah I might be fucking fifty (ah shit Bob adlib) I think I just shit my pants Well I guess I’m fucking fifty Getting old really sucks Strippers used to kiss me Nowadays it costs twenty bucks I guess I’m fucking fifty But I still ain’t no lame duck And if the critics still don’t dig me fuck ’em They can get deez nuts yeehaw