When I woke up this morning things were lookin’ bad Seems like total silence is the only friend I have A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won And it was twelve o’clock before I realized that I was havin’ no fun Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don’t cost very much but it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun Last time I checked my bankroll well it was gettin’ thin Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I’ve been Chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don’t cost very much but it lasts a long while Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun I sat down in my closet with all my overalls Just tryin’ to get away from all the years inside these walls Dreamed the police heard everything I thought... what then? Well I went to court and the judge’s name was Hoffman Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality Chorus well done hotdog bun my sisters a nun.