[Verse] Four and twenty virgins Come down from Inverness. When the ball was over There were four and twenty less. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] 
There was doin’ in the parlour There was doin’ on the stones. You couldn’t hear the music For the wheezin’ and the groans. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] The undertaker he was there All wrapped up in a shroud Swingin’ from the chandelier And peein’ on the crowd. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] The village cripple he was there But he couldn’t do much. So he lined the ladies against the wall And did ’em with his crutch. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] Miss Molly McFearson Was standin’ way up front With some posies in her hand And a carrot up ’er… [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] The village postman he was there Though the poor lad had the pox. He couldn’t do the lassies So he did the letterbox. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all. [Verse] The village magician he was there He gave us all a laugh. He pulled his foreskin over his head And vanished up his ass. [Chorus] Singin’ Balls to your partner Your ass against the wall. If you’ve never been had on a Saturday night You’ve never been had at all.