Intro He sleeps out there out where the coyotes wail The reason he ain’t at the bar with the boys Makes quite a dismal tale ... He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me He oughtn’t-a shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a no siree. You don’t get many callers Sleeping on the lone prairie. But he shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me. verse 1 Way out West we’re wild and wooly In order to explain it fully: We’re tall grown all grown All the men are hairy-chested And all the women double-breasted. We’re lady-like until molested And then we’re on our own! He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me He oughtn’t-a shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a felt so free. His wife gets the insurance And I’m sorry as can be But he shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me. verse 2 This here job is mighty tryin’ Sometimes the room is fairly flyin’ with High-balls eye-balls. One got killed somebody got ’im Tore up the joint from top to bottom. I think I was that one that shot him As near as I recall. He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me He massacred eight or nine men at the Lazy "B". He then took on the sheriff and the sheriff’s deputy But he shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me. verse 3 All you boys remember Harry The wrangler I was set to marry A long man strong man. One night he yells "I’m from Texas!" And socks me in my solar plexus. Well having normal good reflexes I knocked him on his can! He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a blacked my eye I’m really a lovable peaceable kind of guy. I wouldn’t scare a rabbit and I couldn’t harm a flea But he shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me. Music 1 verse 4 If this story has a moral It’s: When you’re looking for a quarrel or Show Down. "Slow down." If by now you haven’t mastered The gentle art of getting plastered You’re just a Low-Down you ain’t mastered The motto of our town! You shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a start no fight Our burying ground is a most impressive sight. The message on them tombstones is as simple as can be He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me He shouldn’t-a hadn’t-a oughtn’t-a swang on me!