[Intro]      [Verse 1] I’ve been married and married and of-ten I’ve sighed "I’m never a bridesmaid I’m always a bride" I  never divorced them I hadn’t the heart      Yet remember these sweet words "’till death do us part" [Bridge]                [Verse 2] I married many men a ton of them Because I was untrue to none of them   Be-cause I bumped off every one of them To keep my love a-live [Verse 3] Sir Paul was frail he looked a wreck to me At night he was a horse’s neck to me   So I performed an appen-dectomy To keep my love a-live [Verse 4] Sir Thomas had in-somnia he couldn’t sleep at night I bought a little arsenic he’s sleeping now all right Sir Philip played the harp I cussed the thing I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing And now he plays where harps are just the thing To keep my love a-live To keep my love a-live [Break]              [Verse 5] I thought Sir George had possi-bilities But his flirtations made me ill at ease And when I’m ill at ease I kill at ease To keep my love a-live [Verse 6] Sir Charles came from a sani-torium And yelled for drinks in my em-porium I mixed one drink he’s in me-morium To keep my love a-live [Verse 7] Sir Francis was a singing bird a nightingale that’s why I tossed him off my balcony to see if he could fly Sir Atherton in-dulged in fratricide He killed his dad and that was patricide One night I stabbed him by my mattress-side To keep my love a-live To keep my love a - live To keep my love a-live