Intro: The season’s upon us it’s that time of year Brandy and eggnog there’s plenty of cheer There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung There’s bells and there’s holly the kids are gung-ho True love finds a kiss beneath fresh mistletoe Some families are messed up while others are fine If you think yours is crazy... well you should see mine My sisters are wackjobs I wish I had none Their husbands are losers and so are their sons My nephew’s a horrible wise little twit He once gave me a nice gift wrapped box full of shit He likes to pelt carolers with icy snowballs I’d like to take him out back and deck more than the halls With family like this I would have to confess I’d be better off lonely distraught and depressed The season’s upon us it’s that time of year Brandy and eggnog there’s plenty of cheer There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung They call this Christmas where I’m from My mom likes to cook push our buttons and prod My brother just brought home another big broad The eye rollin? whispers come loud from the kitchen I’d come home more often if they’d only quit bitchin’ Dad on the other hand’s a selfish old sod Drinks whiskey alone with my miserable dog Who won’t run off fetch sure he couldn’t care less He defiled my teddy bear and left me the mess The season’s upon us it’s that time of year Brandy and eggnog there’s plenty of cheer There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung They call this Christmas where I’m from Bridge: The table’s set we raise a toast The father son and the Holy Ghost I’m so glad this day only comes once a year You can keep your opinions your presents your happy new year They call this Christmas where I’m from They call this Christmas where I’m from