My father cut his toe off In a rotary lawn mower And my mother burst a blood vessel When my younger brother went to jail So I told her not to worry Not to get in such a flurry We’re just an ordinary family With the usual calamity When I was just a virgin lad My mother faked a suicide Because she found the tell-tale sign Of puberty upon the sheets So I told her not to worry Not to get in such a flurry We’re just an ordinary family With the usual calamity We always try to look our best We always take care when we dress We always wear clean underwear In case we’re in an accident Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha true True true true true true true true true When I become a married man With children of my very own Will I lay my inhibitions on And criticise their sexuality? Will I use them to protect respect? Will I try to own them flesh and bone? Or will I be their equal friend Encouraging their new ideas? For the future lies within their hands And the salvation of all these lands Yes the ordinary family Is the only way to set us freeeeee Set us free set us freeeeee Set us free set us freeeeeee Set us free set us free