verse 1 Standin' on the corner Not doin' nothin' to no one When a squad car stops And out jump cops You one of them, if I ever saw one Wonder what I said As my face turned red Up against the wall, says the tall one That's a cute mustache Have ya got any hash? I'd like to make a buy, says the small one Now da whole thing's silly But I'm starin' at the billy Quietly askin' myself now will he Use that thing To make my eardrums ring It's all a bad dream And I'm in South Philly Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner verse 2 Me and Mr. Hohner In Yuma, Arizona Tryin' to hitch a ride to Denver Well, out of a toll Comes the highway patrol To check up on my gender Is it her or him Or maybe Tiny Tim? Now up against the fence, says the dense one You have picked a bad spot To smoke your pot Whatcha gonna do two against one? Now da whole thing's silly But I'm starin' at the billy Quietly askin' myself now will he Use that thing To make my eardrums ring It's all a bad dream And I'm in South Philly Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner verse 3 Me and Mr. Hohner Relaxin' out at Kona Hawaiian sun can be groovy When a pair of MPs Yell out, freeze! And I think I gotta part in a movie Hey! I'm talkin' to you Tell me what did I do? You're a draft card burner, says the thin one We can tell by your looks That you read too many books of wars And that's because ya ain't been in one Now the whole thing's silly But I'm starin' at the billy Quietly askin' myself now will he Use that thing To make my eardrums ring It's all a bad dream And I'm in South Philly Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner