Intro : If you're havin'trouble with the high school head He's givin'you the blues You wanna graduate but not in 'is bed Here's what you gotta do Pick up the phone I'm always home, call me anytime Just ring three six two, four three six oh I lead a life of crime Dirty deeds done dirt cheap Dirty deeds done dirt cheap Dirty deeds done dirt cheap Dirty deeds they're done dirt cheap Dirty deeds they're done dirt cheap You got problems in your life of love You got a broken heart He's double dealin'with your best friend That's when the tear drops start, fella Pick up the phone, I'm here alone, or make a social call Come right in, forget about him We'll have ourselves a ball Refrain ... If you got a lady and you want her gone But you ain't got the guts She keeps naggin'at you night and day Enough to drive you nuts Pick up the phone, leave her alone It's time you made a stand For a fee I'm happy to be Your back door man. Whoo ! Refrain Concrete shoes, cyanide, T. N. T. Done dirt cheap Neck-ties, contracts, high voltage Done dirt cheap Dirty deeds Done dirt cheap ... They're ready to send him on the cruise